No kids (traveling with friends) or no dad (traveling for business or pleasure). Summer fan is the wind, what do you do? Rediscover your passion for urban spirit or want your tribe to get back to basics as soon as possible? Now everything around me is chaos. And for me, curled up on the couch and slowly shrinking, everything has gotten out of control. Change always affects me. Every equation that breaks down, every task that is done, every plane that takes off, every thought that disappears, amazes me.
I watched the children pack their bags and go to rest
Around me, my children are packing their bags. In a few hours they will board the plane to rest. We are trying to promote freedom, just for my own sake. My husband works abroad because men are elsewhere when needed. There were slippers, towels, shirts, T-shirts, boots on the floor (“What are you doing with those? You are not going to the top of the mountain!” “There are mountains to climb everywhere, Klar.” “Don’t call me Klar, I am your mother. A child comes out of the house half naked, his back, his eyes shining, looking for the necessary things he could not find in the body of a man who suffered from love.
I sat on the couch and looked at them blankly. Summer is a time of uncertainty for freelancers as they wait for a renewed contract, for children it is a season of hard union travel, and for young people it is a time to stop and believe that they have absorbed the information. many ideas. The nomadic and wild animals of summer finally want to be home. On the contrary, I did not. The path to and from is left in the ground beneath my feet. When others are gone—children, friends, husband—I feel like I can’t live without them. I believe that if I stay away from their fire, I will burn to death.
Then I ignore the chaos and enjoy the silence
Now I help my children pack their bags and escort them to the airport, all the while working for my future like a freelancer, feeling like the world is ending every summer and wondering. I wish I could learn. Because I’ve danced around this abyss and not fallen into it. I know exactly what will happen in a few hours. When I get home, I find myself anxious and quiet. I will ignore the first and appreciate the second. I will call a friend, maybe we can meet up tonight and talk about the comfort of being alone. Maybe after a few beers we will still have the courage to plan a holiday together, but we will not be able to do that for at least the next five years.
Will my suffering be in vain?
I think my suffering is nothing, the box is in its place, and the missing box will soon return to its place. Tonight, of course tomorrow, I will leave everything and rest for a while. Our story has its ups and downs. Our emotional ups and downs repeat themselves for years and end in the same place, under new branches. When we remember this, we finally grow.
