Things to remember
- Social and family relationships change during early childhood and adolescence.
- Family love and support help teens and young adults develop self-control and independence.
- Teenagers and young adults may want more space and more time with friends.
- Effective communication is key to building strong relationships with former and younger youth. Begin to listen carefully. Family Relationships in Preschoolers and Adolescents
- Family relationships change during adolescence but remain strong. The fact is that adolescents need the love and support of family just as they did when they were children.
At the same time, adolescents need more space and personal space. It is a natural part of adulthood.
Children need more responsibility and independence as they grow. How quickly you hand over responsibility to your children depends on a number of factors—your comfort level, your family and cultural background, your child’s maturity, and so on.
As teenagers develop independence and responsibility, they need guidance, support, and supervision. Strict supervision is the minimum, although you can ask your child occasionally for specific information about where they are going and who they are.
Stay Connected with Tweens and Teens
You can stay connected and build a bond with your child through everyday interactions (for example, a simple conversation while doing the dishes). Or you can plan a connection. This is the time to spend together doing things that you enjoy.
Here are some ideas for planned and unplanned connections:
- Family dinner.
- Enjoy your trip with your family.
- Spend some time alone with your child.
- Schedule a family meeting to resolve the issue.
- Do something simple and kind—a pat on the back, a hug, or a knock on the door before entering your child’s bedroom.
Listen and communicate with children and teens
Active listening is a powerful tool for improving communication and building positive relationships with your children. Because active listening is telling your child, “You are the most important person to me right now.”
Here are some quick tips for active listening:
- Put your mind on something and focus on your child.
- Look at your children when they are talking to you. Show interest, such as by asking questions. For example, “What happened next?”
- Show your child that you are trying to understand him or her by saying something like, “Let me see if I understand.”
- Listen without interrupting, judging, or correcting.
- Focus on what your child is saying.
Negotiating and Managing Conflict with Boys and Teens
Your child needs to learn how to make decisions as part of becoming an independent and empowered teenager. Negotiation can help your child learn to think about what he or she wants or needs and to communicate in a rational way.
Sometimes negotiations don’t go well, and you and your child disagree, and that’s normal. Managing conflicts well can make your relationship stronger. It can also help your child learn important life skills.
