Even if you’ve never heard of it before, the other side of jealousy is this: compassion.
This falls under the moral umbrella of non-monogamy, a new term for a concept you may not be familiar with. By compassion, we mean the joy and affection you feel when you know your partner is happy with someone else. Does that seem impossible to you? But…
Understanding Empathy
It’s not just about understanding; it’s not enough to just talk about compassion. It all starts with a simple thought that’s repeated over and over again: If you love the people around you, if they’re happy, you’ll be happy. It doesn’t matter how or why, what matters is that they’re happy. So if you celebrate with your partner when you get a promotion, win a competition, or achieve some other goal, you should be happy when they’re happy.
It falls under the umbrella of the ethics of polygamy and is about finding compassion and fulfillment by sharing your partner (physically or emotionally) with someone else. While the union of the body and happiness is not essential, the feeling can still exist without them. Jennifer Schuyler, a sex therapist and director of the Intimacy Institute, explained the subject in detail in Vogue magazine. “It’s like saying, ‘I’m happy sharing my partner with other people even if we’re not having sex,'” she added.
In short, you can feel the feeling, but it doesn’t explain the feeling. Even if someone else’s feelings are with someone else, it will still comfort you. But that idea is impossible. Janet Brito, a sex therapist and founder of the Hawaii Center for Sexual and Relationship Health, says this is true “even for people in non-monogamous relationships.”
The opposite of jealousy
If you see your partner having fun with someone else who is sexually attracted to you, you’re experiencing irrational jealousy. But if, conversely, you’re happy that your partner is showing interest (emotionally or sexually) in another person, then you’re experiencing empathy.
Contrary to popular belief, this idea can strengthen the bond between couples, help couples learn to love in less traditional ways, and reduce jealousy toward their partners. Of course, as long as it is a mutual choice and no one is harmed. On the contrary, jealousy often leads to blurred thoughts. However, by being patient, people learn to look at love from a completely different perspective, to share and open up more, to be patient with their partners and to experience true happiness. They are happy when they see it. Empathy helps to eliminate the strange sense of control that makes interpersonal relationships suffocating.
